1. A Letter to My Adopted Child’s Teacher

    The beginning of the school year is here! How will you help your child's teacher understand the best ways to be sensitive to the needs of your adoptive child? Consider writing the teacher an email  that describes some of the general experiences of adoptees, as well as the specific strategies they can use to support your child. Feel free to copy and revise the example letter below: "Dear ___, I ho…Read More

  2. The One Thing You Cannot Ask Your Child’s Therapist To Do

    As an adoption-competent therapist, there are a number of areas in which I can offer support to your child. If they have separation anxiety, I can help them feel secure in knowing their loved ones will do everything in their power to return. If they worry about being hurt by caregivers, I can help them work through the impact of negative experiences to feel safe in the present. If they struggle wi…Read More

  3. The Ultimate Question for Adoptive Parents

    You and your child are stranded on a deserted island with four other people. You are getting worried, because your child is starting to run a fever and needs medical attention. A small, intact plane floats up onto the shore, and you are incredibly relieved that you finally have the resource necessary to get help for your child. There is no one on the plane, and only three people will fit inside. E…Read More

  4. A common (& avoidable) mistake transracially adoptive parents make…

    Have you ever said something like this to your transracially adoptive children after learning that they were teased or judged because of their appearance? "Your differences are what make you special!" "I love that your skin/hair is different, it's so beautiful!" "It's okay to be different!" "They just don't understand anyone who's different, that's why they were being mean." You mean well. You …Read More

  5. #29Days29WaystoSupportAdoptees

    Did you miss out on February's #29Days29WaystoSupportAdoptees? Review them all here! #1: Journal about your adoption process before you even receive a referral, so that your child can see how loved and wanted they were by you before they even became a part of the family. #2: If you adopt internationally, take as many pictures and videos of your child’s orphanage, orphanage workers, and communi…Read More

  6. Tips for Parenting Trauma-Reactive Kids

    While I could write for days on the topic of trauma in adoption and foster care kiddos, I’m writing this blog with the assumption that many parents already understand quite a bit about the basics of it. After all, adoptive parents receive a lot of training about “trauma.” You learn about brain development, definitions of trauma, how it impacts your kiddo and how to be aware of signs that sug…Read More

  7. Responding to Insensitive Adoption Questions

    The adoption experience may lead you to feel like you and your family members are part of an exclusive “club” – one which many people find mysterious and fascinating, and are curious to learn more about. While others’ intentions are typically not malicious, their questions may sound insensitive to the ears of someone who IS in the “club.” Because so many of the people who ask questions…Read More

  8. Feeling Part of Extended Family

    Everyone on my mom’s side of the family has the same nose – the “Foster” nose. I always noticed this as a child, how similar they looked. Mostly, I think I noticed this because I did not look like them. I am Indian, they are of Polish descent. I was always very thankful to have my brother around – even though we are not biologically related, he was also adopted from India, so we looked s…Read More

  9. Talking About Birth Parents and Identity

    Talking with your child about his or her birth parents can be a delicate topic. You may know a lot about your child’s history, or nothing at all. You may feel grateful towards your child’s birth parents, or angry at them for putting your child through a difficult early life. You may experience feelings of insecurity when your child wants to learn more about them, or you may feel comfortable wi…Read More

  10. Talking to Your Child about Adoption

    As an adoptive parent, it may seem intimidating to talk to your child about being adopted. The good news is, your child ISN’T intimidated by this talk, and you don’t have to be either! When it comes to talking about adoption, it shouldn’t be “the conversation” – it should be an open and ongoing process throughout your child’s lifetime. Begin talking about adoption from the moment you…Read More