1. Seven Hidden Harms in Performative Racial Allyship

    If you are white, it may be easy to view performative racial allyship as benign. It’s short-lived and superficial nature does not look much different from other trends – a hashtag, a retweet, a meme, a “like,” a conversation starter, a t-shirt order, or a yard sign. You might assume that, even if it is not actually helping anyone, it is “better than nothing.” As a person of color and p…Read More

  2. The Privilege of Unity

    I’ll never forget how it felt to see Vice President-elect Kamala Harris speak last night. I made my husband take a picture of me next to the TV as she gave her speech, overwhelmed by the honor of bearing witness to an historic moment – the first time a woman of Indian descent like me was voted into the second-highest office in our country. I never imagined it would happen in my lifetime. Over …Read More

  3. Why “I’m Ready to Listen” is Not the Beginning of Your Allyship

    It’s inevitable. Every time there is a major headline involving the murder of an unarmed Black person at the hands of a law enforcement officer, I see the same pattern playing out with several family members, friends, or acquaintances. I’ll make a statement (in person or on social media) about the importance of understanding a particular aspect of racism, and I’ll receive pushback about the …Read More

  4. The Single Item that Made Me Understand Racism

    It was a Band-Aid. Well, not actually a Band-Aid – just the image of a Band-Aid. So small, yet so damaging. It changed my life – the entire way I had viewed racism shifted. It was no longer individual, overt interactions. It was about the million little ways I was taught that I don’t belong. My first class addressing multicultural issues was during my doctoral program. It was a six-day cours…Read More

  5. The Most Empowering Book I’ve Ever Read to My Child

    So, you know how most children’s books have that “happily-ever-after-suddenly-everyone-is-best-friends-even-though-the-entire-book-was-about-someone-treating-someone-else-like-crap” kind of vibe? I’ve never been a fan. Sure, I’m all for books with happy endings. But I don’t think happy endings have to mean everyone gets along. In fact, for kids of color and many other types of minoriti…Read More

  6. The Ultimate Adoption Resource List

    An all-ages list of books, websites, blogs, podcasts, documentaries, educational videos & more for all members of the adoption constellation! FOR MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS Adoption Therapy: Perspectives from Clients & Clinicians on Processing & Healing Post-Adoption Issues Laura Dennis Seven Core Issues in Adoption & Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding &…Read More

  7. 2nd Annual 25 Days of Giving

    It’s time for my 2nd Annual 25 Days of Giving. On Thanksgiving, and for 24 days following, I am going to take 5 minutes out of each day to donate money to one cause that I believe is working to make our world a safer and more compassionate place. I have chosen to donate to organizations both local and global, those that are large-scale and those that are close to my heart. I hope that you will j…Read More

  8. The One Thing You Cannot Ask Your Child’s Therapist To Do

    As an adoption-competent therapist, there are a number of areas in which I can offer support to your child. If they have separation anxiety, I can help them feel secure in knowing their loved ones will do everything in their power to return. If they worry about being hurt by caregivers, I can help them work through the impact of negative experiences to feel safe in the present. If they struggle wi…Read More

  9. The Ultimate Question for Adoptive Parents

    You and your child are stranded on a deserted island with four other people. You are getting worried, because your child is starting to run a fever and needs medical attention. A small, intact plane floats up onto the shore, and you are incredibly relieved that you finally have the resource necessary to get help for your child. There is no one on the plane, and only three people will fit inside. E…Read More

  10. A common (& avoidable) mistake transracially adoptive parents make…

    Have you ever said something like this to your transracially adoptive children after learning that they were teased or judged because of their appearance? "Your differences are what make you special!" "I love that your skin/hair is different, it's so beautiful!" "It's okay to be different!" "They just don't understand anyone who's different, that's why they were being mean." You mean well. You …Read More