Parenting

  1. The Single Item that Made Me Understand Racism

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    It was a Band-Aid. Well, not actually a Band-Aid – just the image of a Band-Aid. So small, yet so damaging. It changed my life – the entire way I had viewed racism shifted. It was no longer individual, overt interactions. It was about the million little ways I was taught that I don’t belong. My first class addressing multicultural issues was during my doctoral program. It was a six-day cours…Read More

  2. It’s Time to Expand the Definition of “Helpers”

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    After tragic events such the two mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton this past weekend (and the numerous shootings prior), many parents are seeking the right words to reassure their children that they will be safe. It can feel impossible to find these words amidst our own intense emotions, but Mr. Fred Rogers’ wise advice about noticing the “helpers” has always seemed to instill a sense of …Read More

  3. What We Ask of You

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    Understand that we do not ask you to hear our voices because we are grieving. We ask you to hear our voices because we are exhausted from grieving. Biologicals cannot fathom the experiences of adoptees – the depth of our losses, the ways these losses permeate every part of our being, every experience, every decision. Even we do not always comprehend how ingrained these losses are within us, but …Read More

  4. The Most Empowering Book I’ve Ever Read to My Child

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    So, you know how most children’s books have that “happily-ever-after-suddenly-everyone-is-best-friends-even-though-the-entire-book-was-about-someone-treating-someone-else-like-crap” kind of vibe? I’ve never been a fan. Sure, I’m all for books with happy endings. But I don’t think happy endings have to mean everyone gets along. In fact, for kids of color and many other types of minoriti…Read More

  5. The Bedtime Narrative for Kids Who Struggle with Sleep Anxiety

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    The Bedtime Narrative for Kids Who Struggle with Sleep Anxiety I’ve recently had a number of requests for support from parents who are struggling with their child’s sleep anxiety. It’s an all-too-familiar scenario: “They refuse to let me leave the room, I have to lie in bed with them until they finally fall asleep.” “They wake up constantly during the night and I have to be right next …Read More

  6. A Letter to My Adopted Child’s Teacher

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    The beginning of the school year is here! How will you help your child's teacher understand the best ways to be sensitive to the needs of your adoptive child? Consider writing the teacher an email  that describes some of the general experiences of adoptees, as well as the specific strategies they can use to support your child. Feel free to copy and revise the example letter below: "Dear ___, I ho…Read More

  7. The Ultimate Adoption Resource List

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    The Ultimate Adoption Resource List (UPDATED 7/10/19) - check out the all-ages list below for books, websites, blogs, podcasts, documentaries, educational videos & more! FOR MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS Adoption Therapy: Perspectives from Clients & Clinicians on Processing & Healing Post-Adoption Issues Laura Dennis RESEARCH & RESOURCES Donaldson Adoption Institute: https://www.ad…Read More

  8. The One Thing You Cannot Ask Your Child’s Therapist To Do

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    As an adoption-competent therapist, there are a number of areas in which I can offer support to your child. If they have separation anxiety, I can help them feel secure in knowing their loved ones will do everything in their power to return. If they worry about being hurt by caregivers, I can help them work through the impact of negative experiences to feel safe in the present. If they struggle wi…Read More

  9. A common (& avoidable) mistake transracially adoptive parents make…

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    Have you ever said something like this to your transracially adoptive children after learning that they were teased or judged because of their appearance? "Your differences are what make you special!" "I love that your skin/hair is different, it's so beautiful!" "It's okay to be different!" "They just don't understand anyone who's different, that's why they were being mean." You mean well. You …Read More

  10. #29Days29WaystoSupportAdoptees

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    Did you miss out on February's #29Days29WaystoSupportAdoptees? Review them all here! #1: Journal about your adoption process before you even receive a referral, so that your child can see how loved and wanted they were by you before they even became a part of the family. #2: If you adopt internationally, take as many pictures and videos of your child’s orphanage, orphanage workers, and communi…Read More