Grief and Loss

  1. It’s Time to Expand the Definition of “Helpers”

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    After tragic events such the two mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton this past weekend (and the numerous shootings prior), many parents are seeking the right words to reassure their children that they will be safe. It can feel impossible to find these words amidst our own intense emotions, but Mr. Fred Rogers’ wise advice about noticing the “helpers” has always seemed to instill a sense of …Read More

  2. What We Ask of You

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    Understand that we do not ask you to hear our voices because we are grieving. We ask you to hear our voices because we are exhausted from grieving. Biologicals cannot fathom the experiences of adoptees – the depth of our losses, the ways these losses permeate every part of our being, every experience, every decision. Even we do not always comprehend how ingrained these losses are within us, but …Read More

  3. #29Days29WaystoSupportAdoptees

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    Did you miss out on February's #29Days29WaystoSupportAdoptees? Review them all here! #1: Journal about your adoption process before you even receive a referral, so that your child can see how loved and wanted they were by you before they even became a part of the family. #2: If you adopt internationally, take as many pictures and videos of your child’s orphanage, orphanage workers, and communi…Read More

  4. Screening Questions When Seeking an Adoption-Competent Therapist

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    Adoption is beyond complex - the language, the losses, the expectations, the norms, the family dynamics, the feelings...the list is long, in-depth, and specific. When you're searching for an adoption-competent mental health professional for your child, you may assume that adoption is well understood within the mental health field, and that any licensed professional is able to provide your child w…Read More

  5. Repost of Dear People Who Do Not Have a Child with Disabilities

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    A wonderfully and honestly written blog that all should take to heart - consider your words carefully when speaking to a parent of a child with special needs. Link to Adrienne Jones' blog on "No Points for Style" - a must read! http://www.nopointsforstyle.com/2013/08/dear-people-who-do-not-have-a-child-with-disabilities.html…Read More

  6. Tips for Parenting Trauma-Reactive Kids

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    While I could write for days on the topic of trauma in adoption and foster care kiddos, I’m writing this blog with the assumption that many parents already understand quite a bit about the basics of it. After all, adoptive parents receive a lot of training about “trauma.” You learn about brain development, definitions of trauma, how it impacts your kiddo and how to be aware of signs that sug…Read More

  7. Why Badmouthing the Other Parent Hurts Your Child

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    When you get a divorce, it’s easy to think about all of the mistakes your partner made or the ways her or she may have changed for the worse. And to some extent, your child probably recognizes these problematic areas, as well. However, seeing or knowing that a parent made a poor choice is different than being constantly reminded of it by your other parent. Have you ever wondered about the psycho…Read More

  8. Helping Your Child Cope with a Difficult Divorce

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    Unfortunately, most divorces are not exactly amicable. Affairs, abandonment, substance abuse, incarceration or hostile arguments may characterize the road to your divorce. In those cases, how to you talk to your kids about it in a healthy way? Make sure your needs are met. Be sure that you are staying as healthy and emotionally stable as possible during this stressful time. Eat right, exercise, fi…Read More

  9. Helping Your Child Cope with an Amicable Divorce

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    As a parent, how do you tell your child that his or her parents are no longer going to be together? Even if the divorce is a mutual or amicable decision made by you and your partner, it can feel difficult to share this news with your child. Here are 5 guidelines for telling your child about a mutual divorce decision and helping him or her to cope with the changes: Present a united front. Plan out …Read More

  10. Helping Your High Schooler Cope with Loss

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    Though a teenager’s understanding of death and grief may be similar to that of an adult, it is important to remember that they are not yet adults. The teen years are often characterized by an internal battle between dependence and independence when it comes to parent-child relationships, and coping with the loss of a loved one is no different. Your teen may be struggling to cope independently in…Read More